I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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