I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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