That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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