Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
