Just fell off a train. Bad.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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