The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
