I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
