Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
