I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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