At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
