dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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