Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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