Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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