Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
