Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
