Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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