Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
