How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
