He uses pillows to masturbate.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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