i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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