i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
