With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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