In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize