Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
