Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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