that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
