just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
