you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
