i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
