therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
