Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
