We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
