i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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