giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
