I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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