We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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