please come you make the beer taste better
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
