Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
