so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
