did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
