Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
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I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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