Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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