Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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