what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
