Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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