quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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