did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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