I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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