Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
