i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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