theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
