So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize