one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
