lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
