Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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