i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
