I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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