Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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