i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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