Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
