I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
